• Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
  • Boy: I know.
  • Girl: I love you!
  • Boy: I love you more!
  • *After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room.*
  • Girl: Where is he?
  • Dad: Don't you know who gave you the heart?
  • Girl: (Starts crying)
  • Dad: Im just kidding he went to the bathroom.

paging-doctorfaggot:


This is beyond fucking true.

i can’t even.
  • Girl: But if I have a boyfriend, and I kiss a girl, does that really count as cheating?
  • Me: If I punch you in the face with my left fist, but I'm right-handed, does that really count as me punching you in the face